


Picking Up Merlin

by blackat140795



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Fluff, Harry Hart Lives, Pick Up Lines, They're all super happy, happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 14:38:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5008552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackat140795/pseuds/blackat140795
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A waitress leaves Merlin a pick up line on his receipt and Eggsy will not let it go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Picking Up Merlin

**Author's Note:**

> This is a total fluff piece that I wrote for a friend. Love you Ana!
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Merlin stared at the phrase written across his receipt for a moment before looking around for the waitress. She must have given him the wrong receipt, this was clearly meant for someone twenty years younger than him. She seemed to be avoiding looking at him…

“What’s the holdup Merlin? Coffee too expensive for ya?” Eggsy leaned over into Merlin’s personal space and tried to grab the receipt, clearly impatient to get moving. Merlin instinctively jerked the receipt out of his reach, knowing that he would never hear the end of it if the young man saw what was written there. Unfortunately, jerking it out of Eggsy’s reach placed it right within the reach of one Harry Hart. 

“Harry, don’t be a twat,” Merlin scolded as the receipt was neatly plucked from his hand. For all the good that did. 

“Gentlemen do not make a scene trying to hide a receipt,” Harry responded.

Eggsy was looking at their waitress, who looked suddenly mortified, and starting getting an evil grin on his face.

“Unless there’s somethin’ written on it he don’t want us to see.”

“She clearly misdelivered the receipt,” Merlin said stiffly. 

“Nonsense, our order was three cups of tea, four scones and Eggsy’s crumble. There also seems to be a note written here for you.” Harry was clearly enjoying himself, holding the receipt out for Eggsy to read while Merlin glowered at them both.

“Excuse me, I seem to have lost my number, can I borrow yours?” Eggsy whooped out loud, startling a number of customers around them. Harry looked so amused he didn’t even reprimand Eggsy for the lack of public decorum. A different waitress came over and asked if there was an issue. She’d clearly been sent by the other waitress and looked extremely awkward. Merlin quickly paid their tab and left, Harry meandering in his wake while Eggsy jumped about him like a hyper puppy dog.

“Merlin, you dog!” he said gleefully as they crossed the street to the tailor shop. “I didn’t know ya had it in ya bruv!”

“Harry, control your child,” Merlin ordered as they entered the tailor shop. Eggsy was being far too energetic about this, now speculating on what would happen if Merlin had actually left her his number. This would not do. He spun on his heel and looked down at Eggsy with what he hoped was his most intimidating glare.

“If you don’t want to spend the next year in a swamp in Bangladesh, I suggest you stop irritating me and actually finish some of your reports, Galahad.” This did nothing to wipe the smirk of the young man’s face, and might have actually broadened the smirk on Harry’s. Merlin gave them up as idiots and went to his lab, where everyone was too afraid of him to tease him about far too young waitresses in downtown cafes.

 

“Hey Merlin, you wanna try that new grill down the block? Mike said they’ve got a few cute new gals, maybe one of ‘em will ask ya to dinner.”

Merlin made a mental note to send Eggsy to Bangladesh the next time an opportunity came up, and to make an opportunity if one didn’t. He walked past Eggsy, ignoring him in favor of Percival’s latest report.

“Or there’s that new joint on 18th, Rox said loads ‘a girls from her old prep school work there trolling for dudes. You could pick up a few there, I heard all them prep school girls is super cute. Though that girl yesterday wasn’t bad looking either…”

Bangladesh was not far enough away from headquarters.

He blamed what happened next on the fact that he had twelve unread reports sitting on his desk, an op due to start in twenty minutes to oversee, and four hours of sleep he’d gotten that night. 

“Thank you Eggsy, but seeing as I am not really attracted to women in general, I don’t feel like any of these suggestions warrant my attention.”

The words were out of his mouth before he’d really given them any thought, and everything froze once they were gone. He quickly snapped his mouth shut and turned on his heel towards his consul, trying desperately to ignore the slightly shocked look on Eggsy’s face.

He wasn’t exactly secretive about his sexuality, but he wasn’t particularly open about it either. No one had known about it when he was hired, not even Merlin himself. Harry had been the catalyst behind that particular realization, but it was delicate. Many of the older agents didn’t approve, certainly not the former Arthur. After Harry had taken over Kingsman had become much more accepting, but there was still always that chance that it would be taken badly.

He really hoped this wasn’t one of those times.

He worked in a terse silence for the next few moments, until he felt Eggsy come and settle against his desk.

“Well if you’re into blokes there’s always Berner’s tavern, they’ve got great food and some handsome blokes.” Merlin let out a silent sigh of relief. 

He thought that was it, but of course it wasn’t. This was Eggsy, after all.

The next day when Eggsy brought him coffee, he just accepted the cup and kept his eyes on the screen. It wasn’t until he went to throw the cup away half an hour later that he noticed the writing on the side.

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”

He got strange looks from his staff for grumbling under his breath about pick up lines and Adidas wearing hot heads.

Every morning for the next week he found a line somewhere – on his coffee cup, on a sticky note on his monitor, on a piece of paper attached to his clipboard. He was extremely impressed when one showed up as a pop up message on his computer, though of course he immediately found the firewall hole that had allowed that and plugged it.

“Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.”

“Was it love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

“If I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you. “

“Your body is 75% water, and I’m thirsty. 

“Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.”

“Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.”

“Do you sleep on your front? Do you mind if I do?”

The next week Merlin was surprised when another note showed up scrawled on one of his reports. Eggsy was in Bangladesh working on a mission, and Merlin had expected the notes to stop with him out of the country. Merlin tracked down the man who’d written the report, who looked terrified and hurriedly tried to assure his boss that he hadn’t written “I’m no photographer, but I can picture you and me together,” on the back of his research report.

Merlin returned to his study and collapsed in his chair. Eggsy had clearly let someone in on his little game. It would never end.

(Secretly he was glad. It was good to know Eggsy was completely unconcerned that Merlin was gay, and it was kinda nice to find the notes every morning. Merlin could almost pretend Eggsy was actually flirting with him.) 

But then Eggsy came back and Merlin started finding two notes every morning. Usually they were together, so clearly this was two people coordinating. Merlin had a fairly good idea who those two people were.

The first time he left them a note he went home early. He hadn’t gone home early in two years, but he was terrified. He’d known Harry long enough that whether or not Harry took it seriously, they’d be fine. But Eggsy. Eggsy was the unknown. Eggsy could have just been playing this game, and freak out when Merlin started playing back. The age gap between them was huge, after all, and Merlin didn’t know if he could deal with Eggsy freaking out and ending this.

The next day he found two notes tied to his pen. “Are you a camera, because every time I look at you I smile,” and “I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?” This time they were signed, one in a loopy professional signature, and one in a sprawling mess of a signature.

Merlin loved them both.


End file.
